I was so excited when I saw this update a few days ago! I know you've a busy person, and you also have other stories. I'd nearly given up hope that this would be updated. Obviously, it has been some time since I read the previous five chapters. It's been long enough that I have forgotten many things, although you reminded the readers of some of the more important things in this chapter.
Maybe it would be interesting for you to hear what I DID remember? First off, Helen's name. Also Moody's name. I also remembered a particular description: that other man she meets (I had forgotten his name) you described as looking like a crane. I found that quite memorable. Oh, and I also remembered that there was a fight by the temple.
So what did I think of THIS chapter? Ah, well, the opening scene was superb. I just love Helen's voice. I can just about hear it in my head. She is a unique character, and I'm quite taken with the way she thinks. I very much enjoyed the way she walked away quickly from dinner so that Cadogan would have to make something of a scene to follow her.
It figures that she'd bump into Moody again. He's a puzzling character; I can't figure him out (I can't figure Cadogan out either). I admit that I enjoy Helen's awkwardness around him--around everybody, really--just because I think it would be something I'd find funny in a movie.
Ooh, the sinister elements you're injecting. Now who possibly could have been spying on Helen and seen her Apparate? If the worker really was killed by magic, why? And what about that boulder? The last word gave me chills. Things are getting stranger and creepier all the time.
I enjoyed this chapter very much. Thank you for updating. :-)
Author's Response: It's the story I keep meaning to update, but either lose confidence or just can't be satisfied with the idea I have for it. It's only after writing a chapter that I start to love the story again, and maybe updating more with keep that love for it alive and make it stronger. Probably the reminders of what took place in the earlier chapters are also evidence of me trying to remember what happened, and re-working my way through the various aspects of this story.
The crane description! I remember reading it somewhere and thinking it too perfect, so I borrowed it for Cadogan, as I wanted him to look as odd as he was, like something wasn't quite right about him.
It means so much that you liked this chapter! I had no idea how it would sound in relation to the others, if Helen's voice would remain consistent, or whether the pacing would be right. I've come to love writing Helen because her narrative voice is so natural, as though she's talking to the reader, but it's also biting and sarcastic in a very amusing way. I'm glad that she's a unique OC, especially since she's a Black and I'm trying to both make her fit into the family, but also not be a stereotypical member, if that makes sense.
Moody's taking shape more easily now that I have a mental image of him (a face, a voice), so I can flesh out his character more and make him more realistic. There's a lot of different sides to him, but Cadogan's the same, so Helen's awkwardness around them both grows with her curiosity about them.
The one thing I'm worried about with these sinister elements is that I'll forget about them and leave them around as red herrings. It's perhaps the hardest thing about the mystery/suspense genre because it requires so much detail in the plot. I'm very glad that the ending had that great suspenseful feel to it - I had a lot of trouble writing this ending and figuring out the right point to stop, as I still had ideas for the plot and wanted to keep going, but the chapter could have gone on forever then.
Thank you very much for this review, Alopex! It was a great surprise to hear from you without requesting, and it means a lot that you took the time to read and review this one because you always have a lot of others to do. ^_^