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Review:Gryffin_Duck says:
Hello Becca! I must say that I have come to enjoy reading second person after reading a couple of your stories! I haven't read many Tom/Minerva stories and I really enjoyed this one!

Description- You had a lot of good images in this story, my favorite being the the slithering river in the beginning. I have never read that verb being used to describe a river and it's really fitting and beautiful. I also loved the recurring image of the paper angel and the fact that you used it in each section worked nicely. I think you had the perfect amount of description in this.

Plot- I really enjoyed the plot especially since it is one that I have never read anything similar to. The story gave me a numb sense of sadness, which I think worked quite nicely. The angst was easy to feel and there was such a sense of loss, like a huge wall had been built between them that they could never scale.

Pace/flow- I think this flowed quite nicely. The different segments fit well together and it was easy to follow. I love the idea of just putting in short scenes in their lives into the story. Just five short scenes were enough to give me a sense as to what their relationship was and what they had lost.

Characterization- You characterized Tom and Minerva very well in this. I got the sense that Minerva was sensitive and nostalgic, yet determined to move on with her life. This fits very well with her characterization in the Potter books. Tom seemed sad yet angry which also fits well with his characterization in canon. I especially loved the detail of him liking to read about Muggle wars. That is so fitting since his reign was so much like WWII.

I think the different segments and order work nicely. As soon as Minerva mentioned that she wished to go into teaching in the second segment I realized that it was going back in time. I think that was a very unique choice and it worked well! Great job! :)

Author's Response: Hey Sarah! Thanks so much for the lovely review! Your reviews always make my day. :D And yay for second person! I really do love writing it :P.

The slithering river was me failing to come up with another word. I was like 'river=snake=slithering'. I'm glad you like it :D. I'm glad you liked the description in general actually, it felt a little lacking in this piece to me.

Thank you for the wonderful comments, lovely! It means a great deal to know that you liked this. I didn't set out with a definitive plot for this, but I'm so glad that you feel for the characters- there is a definite loss there.

It felt a little underdeveloped with only one scene, hence the five :P (this meant shortening the one which I wrote on its own). I'm glad they all slot together!

Thank you! Minerva is quite strongly characterised in the books, so I was afraid she might be OOC. Tom always strikes me as very angry :P.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the awesome review! :D


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