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Review:ericajen says:
Not bad for a start but there are a few grammatical things. When you're writing dialogue, there should be a comma before the end of the quotation. For example, where it says "Fine" Adelaide groaned, it should say "Fine," Adelaide groaned. Of course, this doesn't apply to questions/exclamations, just to statements. It's a little thing but it does tend to take away from the story a bit, so I thought I would let you know so you can look out for it when you're writing. I do like it thus far, so keep going(:

Author's Response: Hey thanks for pointing that out for me :) I'm not really happy with this story at the moment so I may re-write later on. I'm just getting used to being out of hospital so my mind was really else ware while I was writing this. Thanks for the review though.

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