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Review:Sleeping Paige says:
Interesting view. There are many things that inspire people to take certain paths in their lives. Especially in the health profession, people have a shaking purpose behind their motives. Well, I want to say that as a one-shot, you covered your base with a purpose. There is no need for us not to think that Promfrey was not a Muggle who decided to take on the magical health profression.

One thing that I would caution you againist is that perhaps you jump too much. I understand this is a one-shot, but still. I don't usually go for this type of thing because often I feel that the writer needs to add just a bit more. I'm saying this to criticise you, yes, but you can't just mention something as a vague fact in a short piece. If you choose to follow a drabble or a one-shot format, make sure you have a point even though some of it might be a spill of catharisis. Loose threads go nowhere and the readers eyes willl wonder until a connection is there.

Notice that you skip in between tenses.

You also mix up Americianisms and British English. I personally think in some areas, you date Poppy strangely, but that might just be in my head. I don't picture her as ann ancient matron or anything, but that was a little strange.

I like that the story has Poppy as a Muggle, but I hope you realise this erases almost any hint of a magical element in your story. That might be all right with a one-shot, but usually HP fan fiction carries more magic to it. The car accident sat with me though. I tend to think that HP readers forget that witches and wizards can easily die by Muggle means. They do live in close proimity to each other, so it's not lile that is impoosible. Nice job there.

The last line is interesting. An interesting read into a minor character.

Please respond to the review and return the favour,

Sleeping Paige

Author's Response: Thank you for your suggestions, I appreciate them. I like the idea of flashbacks in a one shot, but I do realize this makes it a lot choppier than longer stories. I'm not quite sure how to fix that, but I'll look into it. As for tense changes... they will be the death of me! I'm sure there are plenty.

The problem with my American and British English is that I'm American, so much of my writing sounds American. However, when I do know of a specific British word more commonly used (taps instead of faucets, sweets instead of candy, both of which were recently pointed out to me) I try to put it into my story to make it more realistic. This may make it a little mixed up, but I'd rather have some Britishisms in there if I can help it. As for spelling, I'm not going to bother with it because I'll never find all the differences.

I'm not quite sure what you meant by "dating" her... I'm not exactly sure of her age in the books, so I tried write in a way that didn't suggest any specific time period. And as for being a Muggle, I know I wrote about her and her sister going to Hogwarts, so that's the only thing I'll straight out disagree with there. It has magic in it because she goes to a magical school.

Anyway, thank you for the many suggestions, I appreciate you taking the time to review this. :)


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