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Review:spangles says:
Spangles again!! (:

So again, First Person= love. You do a really good job with it and I feel like we get such a good insight from it. I was very suprised the Scorpious got a little moment in here too, but you pulled his POV off just as well. Major kudos for you then. (:

Now in this chapter, we have our dialouge. (: As I hoped, it's really good and pretty convincing. Some of the flow isn't quite as perfect as it was last chapter, but last chapter was really good. I just sort of feel like something Rose/Scorpious moves onto a new subject while thinking a little to fast, and it seems a bit blunt. I know it's hard to keep this from happening, because I do it all the time. Just re-read the chapter aloud sometime and any section that may not flow well will just jump out at you!


I love the plot still, and I like their little conversation in the library. It wasn't over done and it was sweet and cute. (: They didn't talk all the much, but that sounds like how it would probably be for someone's first 'real' convesation. I like how they're both secretly crushing on each other as well, and knowing that, readers are going to get a lot more curious. How long will it take Rose nad her boyfriend to break up? To get together with Scorpios? It really makes the readers think.

So, great job again, and keep up the good work! 9/10 ~spangles

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yes, I have a problem with quickly jumping from one thing to the next, hopefully I'll be getting a beta soon to help me with flow. I will definatly be going back to this chapter and edititing it!

Yes we have dialouge in this chapter! and it's great to hear you like my plot. I'll be sure to follow your advice, I really appreciate you taking the time to give me your thoughts, it helps alot!


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