Holy Hot Tamales! By the way, this is Kristen from the forums ^_^
But seriously. OH MY GOODNESS!
I really enjoyed reading this story, WeasleyTwins. But before I go on I would like to point out the one thing that was less-than-marvelous. And that is the fact that weren't Lorcan and Lysander twin brothers? In the story, you described Lorcan as darker and Lysander lighter, how love is not for 16 year old boys (although, perhaps this was just Lysander's superciliousness talking?) Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know :)
Now onto the rest!
GREAT job, Shelby (is it okay if I call you Shelby?)! I mean it. Truly, this is phenomenal on so many levels. One thing I absolutely LOVED was how Shakespearean the whole story was. It was like Lysander from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" was transported into this story but got a good dose of Claudius ("Hamlet") evilness...if that makes sense. A brother killing the weaker one for the love for a woman - it definitely has that Shakespearean aura about it =D especially in the beginning you have that line that reflects Hamlet: it is not to be running, running, running it is to be. Did you have that in mind as you were writing this?
Your writing is so poetic, and honest to God, you would do very well in the writing world (if you want to do it for a salary.) The anaphoras you used to talk about love was so powerful - it reminded me of Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried" (you should read it!) when he's like "War is nasty; war is fun. War makes you a man; war makes you dead." Really, great job. That whole paragraph are my favorite lines in the entire story.
You kept the identity of Lysander a perfect mystery until the end - the story was not confusing because of the ghost narrator at all. And finally realizing that this WAS Lysander at the end created more of a shock, the realization how WRONG and TWISTED this person really is.
Amazing. Haunting. Different. Original. Powerful.
Author's Response: Hello Kristen! Thank you so much for taking the time to review!
Oh, yes, this has confused more than one person. Both boys are sixteen, but with Lysander's personality, I believed that the age comment would add to his...spice. I am sorry for this misunderstanding! I hope that clears things up a tad bit for you!
Of course you may call me Shelby if I may call you Kristen, that is. In all honesty, I had no thought of Hamlet in mind as I was writing this. But now that you have mentioned it, I will just have to reread Hamlet! Thank you for the compliments, my, my, they are too much!
Thank you so much! I would love to be a full-time author, but that doesn't pay the bills these days. So, I've decided to become a high school English teacher and write during the summers. Wow, Tim O'Brien sounds fantastic. Thank you for recommending him/comparing my writing to his! I do hope you enjoyed my style. I've only been writing for two years and I still feel that I have a great deal to learn before I can step into the world of writing as a career.
I would like to say thank you once again for the fantastic review. It is reviewers like you who really make my little writings worth all the effort. Thank you (I cannot say it enough!) :]]]