Hello there! I'm here! To review you! Brace yourself!
Well, just so you know, Marauders story scare the bedizzle out of me. I feel nervous, y'know? Like I need to review better. So excuse me if this is longer than my usual.
Well, to begin with, I was absolutely excited when I realised that James and Lily were already together. It's a rare occurance, and I applaud you for your creativity. A lot of people suck at creating a conflict when it is like that, but you don't, and that proves how extraordinary you are. I can detect a certain sourness within Remus -turns psychic- and he is not truly happy with Lily and James' relationship. Let me quote the line that made me believe this:
"...Sirius glanced over at him. He knew that the poem wasn‚t James. Who was Lily kidding? James could never write something like that, no matter how much effort he put into it. Remus arched an eyebrow as well. The three of them had picked the necklace out for Lily. It was a locket, which only James had the key for. It was supposed to be his big surprise, but when Lily mentioned how much better a poem was than a necklace, James hand removed itself from his pocket as James started to take credit for the letter.
diesonthefloorfromshockofsheerawesomeness. Poor Remus!
I never thought in all my life that I would've liked Remus/Lily. Ever. But my mind is flooding with possibilities of the two of them, and it is all because of you. You transitioned me.
Besides Remus' depressing attitude, Lily actually surprised me. As much as I hate to say this, she was Mary-Sue, but it angered me how much she let James bash her best friend. Yes, Snape ended the relationship in fifth year. But I think Lily still considered him a friend and would've gotten on James for even talking trash about him. But thanks for adding Snape. Every story can use a Snape :p
The condom part was unexpected, but it hinted at adult themes. Perhaps you should add the warning sensitive theme/issue/topic for those who don't understand/comprehend/like the idea of James being a sex-addicted teenager. I found Lily's reaction more speechy and goody-two-shoes than expected, with the whole abstinence till marriage. Remember that she was pregnant in her teens (but that would add irony! OMG I JUST REALISED!)
I really like the plot so far. It's light but not too light, and with one turn in conflict, it can become a (sexy) dark novel. I can also feel the romance between certain members of the group :). I can't wait to see where you take this :)
Your writing style is incredibly unique, although a little patchy in places (but none too bad. It didn't distract me and groan into my laptop :)). Remember that a healthy story gets its nutrients from the three ds: description, dialogue, dynamic plot. You are well on your way! I am adding this story to my favorites!
Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I was iffy on the snape thing, I didn't want to make it seem like they were TOO close, but I imagine they would've fought right after snape said the whole mudblood thing. And she was pregnant in her teens? Ho shizz I never realized that! Thanks for the review, it helped bunches!