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Review:George Whitman says:
You are a good writer. I can tell that much even from this piece. Your ability to wield a character is strong and you have the potential to write a good plot to go with.

That being said, I did not like this story very much. I never believed that Molly could be so thick and dull as to actually believe that Teddy was serious about the kitten. More importantly I never believed for a second that Teddy could be into Molly as you have portrayed her. I thought Teddy was personified as a witty, clever person well (i.e. his device for getting him and his lady alone) but, it beats me why he would ever put up with someone so dry.

I was dying for Molly to finally realize that Teddy was joking but that moment came painstakingly late and when it did her reaction was borderline preposterous. How can she not laugh at Teddy's wit or at least laugh at her own slow uptake. Again, I wondered why Teddy would put up with such a person and it baffled me as to why he had any attraction to her. Any hope that this story's characters would react in a realistic manner towards each other went out the window right there.

I did like the kitten and I got the impression that it was the only well-thought out part of your story. I certainly hope this is not the case in the future. I apologize for being so blunt but I feel that as a fellow writer and reader I owe you my honest opinion.

Author's Response: Have you ever seen Seinfield? You know how the characters do stupid things instinct alone would tell you was completely moronic?

That's what this was like :)

Thanks for the honesty, though, it was refreshing!


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