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Review:hallowsorhorcruxes says:
What an interesting one-shot! Sirius has always been one of my favorite characters, both inside and outside the world of Harry Potter. The dimensionality of his character, through his love for Harry and his internal grief and regret that has coiled inside him, is so complex, and for that reason tricky to write at times, no? :)

The way that you wrote Sirius' thoughts, the firm conviction that he would bring Peter to justice, one day, was great. Also,the heartbreaking love that Sirius has for Harry before he is severed from him for thirteen years was also superbly written. The line, I think it was "I will never leave you." or something along those lines? Awww-- great writing there, Charly. :)

My only advice is that I think the story has the potential to grow further if you were to write a bit about what Sirius is hearing/seeing/experiencing as he writes this letter. I wonder if I'm making sense when I say this.

For instance, perhaps you could have Sirius sitting down to write this letter to himself and then have him hear something, stand up (or transform into a dog), etc etc and then have him return to writing. This wouldn't have to change your first person use, I don't think, an example being:

"At that moment, he _[insert this type of description]_. Returning to his low crouch on the floor, he began to write once more."

And then returning to the first person letter. I think it could potentially liven the writing a bit. :D

Oh! and great last line! :) Absolutely loved it. Fabulous job!
Cheers-
Hallows

Author's Response: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for such a wonderful, helpful review.

Previous to this I had no experiance writing Sirus, and to be truthful I dont think I pulled it off 100% so your praise really means the world to me.

Of course you are right, he is a very complex character that has been so torn apart by the events of his life that it's hard to write him and do him the justice he deserves.

Your advice is invaluable and of course I will follow it up. I do think it would make the story better and like you say 'liven the writing a bit.'

Thank you once again, for taking the time to leave a review and of course the advice, take care, Charly :D x


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