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Review:Grapeback says:
I suppose I'm here to give you a review! Hmm...this was really interesting. Lyla and Sirius were best friends from way-back-when? I can't wait to find out more about what that was about, and whether or not we can hope for a romance between the two of them (they seem to have enough chemistry).

Anyways, I thought that this was a good place to start the story. You didn't waste time with introductions, instead you weaved it in naturally without boring us with pointless details. Especially since this is a Maurader's story and there are so many areas where you can go wrong...

My only criticism is that this was slightly cliche. I'm sure you didn't mean to, but the way that they were acting is just how they act in all the other stories (no offense. I realise how monstrous I probably sound). Lyla is slightly Mary-Sue. This is only the first chapter, so I'm not so bothered about it, but strive to be different. That is what makes a good story ;)

I loved it how you got directly to the action, although some might say that it went too fast. It was a smart move, especially if you have a complex plot, and I wonder how you will play it out in the long run.

Grammar was pretty good, but I don't really look for it as much as I do the plot. If it was terribly bad, I would've said something though ;)


Author's Response: WOW thanks for the long review: I'll get straight down to it:
Lyla n sirius were friends when they were younger, you do find more out about that as the story unwinds. glad you like their chemistry aswell btw.
Lyla does seem pretty mary-sueish at the start, but she has faults that show themselves quickly enough =]
And you didnt sound monstrous at all I appreciate the honesty, hopefully as the story continues they become less and less like the characters you've read before.

Thankyou again for the review!


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