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Review:Alopex says:
I should be finishing ATAS, but I didn't feel motivated. (I should be in bed too, but I'm doing what I do best . . . staying up late with HPFF.) So I decided to check out some of your other work.

Strictly from a style standpoint, this story interests me a lot because it is quite different from the way you wrote LCBS and especially ATAS. I haven't read your other one-shot yet, so I can't make a comparison with that one, but I could hardly believe . . . is this really JR? Where are all the words?

It's got this flowing sort of poeticism you have in your writing, though, so it does feel like yours, just so much more concise than I'm used to reading from you. You really focused in on the emotions here and the thoughts rather than describing the setting.

I'll admit I find the whole dying declaration of love thing to be a little cheesy, but you pull it off pretty well. Draco's a tortured soul anyway (like Harry . . . hmmm), so he can pull this off without sounding silly. I like the way you got into his head; I think your characterization of Draco is very well done. As for Pansy, well, we don't know her that well, so writers have leeway. I don't know that I truly believe she'd be this introspective and nice-sounding, but alone with Draco in her final moments, I can buy it.

I also liked the hints you provided at the beginning of Pansy's imminent (or is it eminent?) death so the reader knew before you stated it outright. You didn't confirm it until Pansy had accepted it in her mind. I thought you raised some very interesting questions through Draco's thoughts, but you didn't feel the need to answer them fully, because Draco couldn't answer them.

Nice work, JR. :-)

Author's Response: Well thanks I suppose. No I don't suppose, I know. Get it? haha ANYWAYS . . . Wordiness is bad yeah yeah. It's being worked on and junk. haha and what are you trying to say? You didn't feel motivated? Ouch. Anyways, onto your almost compliments:

Good to know I have 'sort-of poeticism'. I'll try and make it real poeticism sometime for you, right? haha. Good that I pull off a little cheesy pretty well though.

And personally, I mean, I think anyone would get pretty poetic given that situation, even someone like Pansy Parkinson. I try and define her better in LCBS, but isn't she just a product of her environment? We never get to see what kind of person she is, save for circumstantial evidence. I attempted to get into some things of that nature here. I think is imminent. Eminent means high in station. Like Your Eminence, you know?

Anyways, I digressed again. Thank you very much for the review Apop! And I do appreciate the 'almost compliments' from my 'biggest' critic as well, ha


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