|Review:||The Empress says:|
OH MY GOD MELANIE! Scoot over and share some of the ice cream, I need comfort food now. This is HORRID.
Seriously wonderful. *sniffle* I'm crying just now, this was absolutely heart breaking. I'm really, really, really glad JKR wrote it the other way. But this is just - well - I'm speechless really. You're writing is, as always superb.
I love how you characterized Ron. Right there at the end, defining himself as a waste of space, insignificant and not someone to be proud of. It's so terribly self-pitying that it just is him. Even as he dies, never realizing what he means to his friends, not thinking the best of himself but always the worst.
The way you broke it up with the chess terms is just cool. It really gives it a sense of structure. Goes perfect with Ron's character. And each section flowed so wonderfully into the next.
You were wondering if it was compelling and YES it is. The tone is almost laid back, but so heart breaking. It just fits with who Ron is, you write him so well, even when you kill him :(
I kind of want him to protest more, to cry out against what's happening. But of course it makes sense that physically, due to the poison, he can't. And when he cries, as Hermione is flung out across him in despair (lovely imagery at that part, by the way) all the emotion just spills out with them, to the reader anyway. And I think it's just so wonderful.
I LOVE IT
There, that about sums it up. :D
Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review, Shiloh!
He really is terribly self-pitying, isn't he? I don't know why that makes me like him so much, but it does. He's so HUMAN, and that's why I love him. He needs to be huggled and made to feel better...preferably by Hermione, as they are meant for each other. XD
I think I know what you mean about wanting him to protest more. Had he been able to speak, there would have been a lot of rage and profanity, for sure. :-P But in general, I've found that writing Ron's emotions requires me to walk a really fine line. He is sensitive and hotheaded, but also very closed off. I can't see him being weepy-emotional or lamenting his impending death - if anything, he'd express it through anger, I think. Anyway, the whole point of all of that is that Ron is surprisingly difficult to write sometimes. Everyone thinks he's so simply, but he's really the opposite!!
That R/Hr bit in this piece just killed me to write. I can't even stand re-reading it; it makes me so sad.
Thank you again for the review! ILY!