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Review:Jellyman says:
Dear Deviant,

I kid :P

Darling, this was brilliant. Completely and utterly brilliant.

You captured Minerva so incredibly, it was just amazing. I love that her independence was what destroyed their relationship. Myrtle and Minerva, God, they would not suit, but on the other hand I think I could see some feeling lingering below the surface.

And second person! You pulled it off so well and I love you for it :D As you might have guessed I have a soft spot for second person and this shows me why I love it; it gives amazing air to your story, as if you're gently persuading the reading to see the situation from Minerva's POV. Brilliant work!

And now the completely ingenious line that hit this fic completely out of the ballpark:
You have not yet realised that the haunting has just begun.
Good God, I'm not even going to try and put my love for this line in words. It's so completely haunting, chilling and amazing that to do so word be stupid.

Amazing!
10/10

Love,
Completely Innocent Bystander
xxx

Author's Response: Thank you, Georgia!! xoxoxo

No, it's true, I couldn't see them ever working out in the long run - Minerva would have been far too irritated - but I could see it as one of those relationships you just fall into because of loneliness before realizing that it's not at all what you want. And it would have slowly eaten away at her independence, which is what I tried to get at here.

(Point is, Minerva/Myrtle is nowhere near as promising as Hugo/Louis.) XD

This is the first time I've ever tried real second person, and I'm very happy with it! I like the way you put it - "gently persuading the reader." I think second person, when done well, allows for better insights into a character's thoughts and emotions, and can actually seem more genuine than first person.

I have gotten such a great response to that final line - I'm glad I decided to use it! I hadn't planned on it at first, and then it sort of came to me. :-)

Thank you so much! I always love your reviews.

Sincerely,
TGS' Resident Deviant


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