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Review:TonksA says:
OK :), so here's my opinion about your fanfic:
-
-First, the pros:

Your plot was sooo interesting at the beginning, that I couldn't put it down(well, obviously, I could put it down if it was a book, but whatev). I was just so excited to read it till the very end. Also, at the beginning(note that-at the BEGINNING)I was really charmed by your OC. Her character seemed just so "cool" and fun to read. I laughed at many of her thoughts and comments about the others, till I started reading the 2nd chapter. :D

-Now, the cons:
OK, so that's it, I ended reading the 2nd chapter of your story, captured by the amazing plot. But, the whole "Harvey thing" repulsed me from liking your character. It made her seem like a total Mary-Sue. You know, so pretty that everybody was looking at her, and the prettiest boy of the school wanted to talk to her e.t.c. Anyway, I kept on reading, because it would be unfair to judge a whole fic just by reading the first two chapters. However, after that iccident, eveything that she did just felt so wrong to me. I know you wanted to make an unexpected and likeable character, but I jst couldn't stand reading the rest. And when she went to Burrow, she treated Sirius and the rest with such immaturity, that it crushed the whole "realism thing" you have built before that. Also, she sounded so selfish and immature, sorry if you were intended to make her sound like that, but I believe that this repulses people from reading a fanfic. At least, I just wanted to stop reading it. I would love it if she was a bit more "realistic". Not so "weird", selfish and arrogant. No offence really, I just didn't like her portrait. I loved the way you portrayed canon characters, except from Sirius and Remus. They were a bit too anti-canon, if you know what I mean... I would like it better if Sirius didn't behave so immarute, and Remus so... um, well... anti-Remus...
-
Anyway, sorry for the harsh judgement, it was just that I wanted to advise you, because "leik omg ur story wass fabulus!!1!!1" but don't poison it with disgusting characters! I was totally disappointed with the manoevre of Selene's behaviour... but in the beginning I have to admit that I liked her, almost charmed by her character...

Sorry again for the harsh judgement, and thank you for reading it anywayz xD ;)

2 points due to the amazing plot... but the cons nearly prevented me from reading the rest of your work...

Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH. you're the first person ever to criticise me constructively and I really appreciate the fact that you did. I would never have known of this Mary-Sue-ness to her and I think every OC i would have made would've suited that criteria. But I'm glad they don't because I personally do not like Mary-Sues either. The one thing about Selene though is that I dont think she is. She's very stubborn and selfish and she knows it.

But again, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

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