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Review:blueirony says:
This is cute. It really is. And it has me interested. No matter how many Next-Gen-Canon-Character/OC stories I read, I can never get enough of them. Never. And the really cool thing is that we know little snippets about all the canon characters but, for all intents and purposes, they are OC characters. And that's an awesome playground for writers.

This was just fun to read. You mentioned that you were scared that people were not going to enjoy it. And you said that people would not get overly emotional over it. I agree with the latter, but disagree with the first. Yes, this is light-hearted. It doesn't warrant tears from your readers. But that's a good thing. It's just something fun to read and smile while doing so. And it is enjoyable. No matter what you think, it definitely is enjoyable.

You also mentoined that the boys might be too stereotypical. I don't think they are. You might want to downplay a smidgen on some of the 'blokey' things they do, but, for the most part, you seem to have them down pat. Don't worry too much about the boys, though. You'll find that once you start writing more chapters, you'll start to develop the boys further and you'll get to know the way they talk and behave. It's early days! Just make sure you have a good idea of each of the characters and you'll be fine. :]

Sharon is a really likeable character, but perhaps my only criticism would be to show us more of who she really is. So far, we have only really seen her interactions with the boys and with Albus and I know that it has only been one chapter, but I'm still not too sure about the type of person she is. And I want to find out.

I love the idea of this. It's rate that you have a pairing already established at the start of the story and then you see it develop. Most romance stories are about establishing the pairing itself. And this is different. I like it.

That last sentence almost seems like a warning. I hope that Albus doesn't end up choosing World Cup tickets over Sharon... poor thing, if that does happen! It should really be interesting to see what happens in the future of this story. You seem to be hinting from the summary that there comes a point when Albus does choose something more important over her and it all sounds really exciting.

For a first chapter, well done.

Ju :]

Author's Response: Sorry I haven't responded to this in a timely manner! It's really helped me with the story, anyway. Your suggestion to get to know Sharon better was a great one, and without trying to your review reminded me of a few other things I need to fix up. For instance, I realized after reading this that need to make Al's friends more Slytherin-like. So anyway, I really appreciate the review, it was really helpful and encouraging. The story definitely light-hearted, and I plan to keep it that way. I think everyone needs a light story to read every now and then, so long as it has an actual plot. Thanks a bunch!!!

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