Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Leigh Kelley says:
I got an inkling of Darcy's personality from the first paragraph alone. She seems like the type of person that doesn't care what others think, and later we see that she has no respect for authority. Unless, of course, she's just that familiar with the Master and he allows it because of that. I would think he'd establish that she shouldn't talk to him in such a manner, or walk into his study without at least knocking first. It makes her seem completely fearless, as you mention a wand and the things Master can do with it. I'm curious about her character, and the history she has with Master, so I hope you touch on that later as well.

Now you have me wondering just who JP is. I'm inclined to think James Potter II, but that seems almost too obvious. You mention him not being impressive on the outside; is he also less strong, and has to use a wand because of it? It's baffling that he'd say 'wand' with such distaste and still use it. Then there's Dwayne; if he looks like JP, I take he's related somehow. I can't wait to see in what way they may be linked.

Nice chapter. You set up some seemingly interesting characters, your story flows so far, and the dialogue's good. None of it seems forced, which I like.

I'll say right now that this will take a bit of getting used to. The most POV changes I can handle is two, and maybe the odd additional one here and there. Taking a look at your chapter titles, I take each one is written from the view of the character it's titled after. I just feel sometimes that too many POV changes take away from a story. Not saying that that's the case here, as I haven't read the whole thing yet, so I'll tell you what I think at the end.

Reading on then.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Thanks once again for the thoughtful review. I wrote Darcy's chapter awhile ago, but I still enjoyed her POV much more than most other chapters. As for the POV changes... this started out as an idea for a collection of one shots, just about life at the Loup in general. As I wrote it, it became more, but I was used to the POV changes and all. I hope it's not too choppy, but I think that in the end it will benefit readers to have seen the story from so many different people. Everyone at the Loup views their situation a little differently. Thanks again. :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 196
Submit Report: