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Review:charlie_black says:
I've just read the entire fic for the first time, and i have to say i really liked. there were a few things that disturbed me a bit reading it:
1. the characters felt a little to self-aware. they were all very conscious of their problems, and they were very specific when describing them.
2. this last chapter felt a bit like it didn't really belong. i'm not sure if it was repeating everything that has happened, or just the ending in general, but it was.
3. i felt the revelation that Isabella was Ellie's daughter was a bit off. maybe if you had put it there earlier, but they way it was revealed made it feel a bit unnecessary. anyway, i have to admit i kind of guessed it already, but that's not a bad thing, because spoilers dont really bother me. :)
any, i want to be clear that even though i mentiond only those points, i really did love your story. the characters' complexity was very well written, and the dialogues and story line in general were written very well. i almost cried when it was revealed that everything that happened wasn't real and she died. the way you left the ending open, too, of how the rest of the characters would deal with her death was good.
anyway, just to sum it up, i really did love your story and can't wait to read allegiance.

Author's Response: Hey charlie_black,

Yeah, I kind of did the whole self-aware thing on purpose. I thought it would be interesting to have characters that were pretty aware that they had issues rather than just have plot twists where they have huge revelations about them.

I wanted to write the ending that way as a type of catharsis. The entire story was rather dark and depressing and the last chapter was a lot lighter and easier to get through. I thought it would also be nice to show the dynamics between Isabella and Quinn because they feature prominently in the sequel (Quinn is actually the main character).

As for Isabella being Ellie's daughter, it had a specific reason for not being revealed earlier. Ellie's pregnancy was a huge source of shame for her parents, so they hid it and decided to raise Isabella as their own. At the end of this story, Quinn made the decision to tell her because it helped to wrap up the entire story and it also gave me a chance to explore the affects of the truth in the sequel.

Thanks for letting me know those things though and that you enjoyed the story(I'm glad you liked it so much and sorry I made you cry!). I'll try and be twice as careful while working on the sequel. ;)

- Anders -

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