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Review:Leigh Kelley says:
Hey there. Here from the forums with your requested review :).

I like how you started here, jumping right into the story without giving a ton of back-story to overwhelm the reader. I was able to get a feel for the characters, and picture the scene pretty well. From Marcus Flint and his greasy personality, to him trying to show off and practically getting shown up in the process. To Cody and her mysterious past.

Your inclusion of subplots is nice too. I wonder what happened to Cody, why seeing the snitch being released was so painful to her. Something terrible must have happened to her, and you did a good job at portraying that. I like how she jumped back on a broom despite her bad feelings, and experienced the rush that only riding a broom could give. Just enough elation to let her temporarily forget her past.

Hipshook's wife running away with the seeker is nothing short of scandalous. I already knew something was wrong when he turned grey; it was a simple enough question on Cho's part, so I was curious as to why he had problems with answering it. And then we get the true story through Davies, and it all became clear.

Oliver's characterization was on point. He's the Oliver we got peeks of in the books. Completely focused on the game and assembling a proper team. Why he objected to her being placed on the team and then smiled at the end, is something I don't know, but I figure will be revealed eventually. Maybe he just saw that she was good enough? Hm.

Good start to a first chapter. A couple errors here and there but since you didn't list any areas of concern, I wasn't sure if I was to point them out. So I'm just giving you a basic review.

On to the next one, then.

~L. Kelley

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