Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:melian says:
Hi! Here with your review! And SO sorry that it's taken me so long to get to it - things have been a bit crazy of late and things like reviews have fallen by the wayside a bit. But I'll try to make up for it now.

The way I do reviews is that I allow my inner critic to dictate the first bit, and talk about any typos, grammatical errors and the like that I saw. Then I talk about your story.

The thing is, though, that I didn't notice any glaring mistakes. There were a few places where your punctuation wasn't what I would have used, but it was still correct so I'm not going to single anything out. So well done there!

Now, your story. I will say first and foremost that I appreciated your Author's note at the start that gave a bit of background, though the Sirius fangirl in me was disappointed at the announcement that there would be a character called "Black" who wasn't him. Just a comment that's completely off-topic, but I thought I'd throw it in.

Overall I think this is a good start to a story. You've introduced your OCs well and we have enough of their background to get a bit of an understanding of where they're coming from. I liked the idea of a Pestilence being a form of curse or something that is set up on tomb raiders, and also the idea that the number of curses and things set up in the tombs meaning that using magic isnt' really an option. I had wondered why they hadn't just Apparated out when they set the bomb, but you explained that very well later on.

My only comment would be that we don't know when this is set from the first chapter. More info might be coming later on but at the moment I feel the story is without an era. Maybe it doesn't need one - several stories can be seen as timeless - but I feel kinda lost when I don't know when a fic is set. There was a hint with the mention of Hugo but then again it may not be Hugo Weasley, so I'm unsure. (Okay, I just checked the main story page again so now I know, but it wasn't stated in the chapter. Just an observation.)

So, this was a very good first chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing what was in the Treasure room. :) On to chapter 2 ...

cheers, Mel

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

 
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

 
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


 
 
 

fanfictionworld.net