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Review:_Lady Marauder_ says:
Hi this is Chelsea from the forums responding to your request!

First of all, I think this is a really really good start here! I think your characterization is going well, especially as this is just the beginning. I feel like I already know a bunch of things about Carson through how you portray her (she's shy, quiet, cautious, intelligent etc). I also like how hesitant she is about the whole Remus issue. That really makes the whole thing much more realistic. I mean, Im sure love at first sight can happen sometimes, but really, too many fics have that as a factor. I mean, even look at JKR, she didnt make ANY of her characters do that. It took R/Hr, H/G AGES to get together :]

The comidic relief at the end was great, and really well timed, it provided a really good note for the chapter to end on.

Just one little thing I was wondering about (which is just typical of me, I'm SUCH an overanalyzer). Its when Carson asks Remus where he is and he says 'out', (which obviously means he isnt at home). He says hes going for a walk, but I dont think they had cellphones in the Marauder era o_O? He was only eighteen, so we'd be talking about 1978-ish? Don't worry, its the kinda thing only I would notice, and it doesnt by any means distract from the story as a whole.

Last thing, Remus was awesomely canon in this! I swear, you have his character spot on! Way to go! I'm getting into this story! Im going to add it to my favorites so I can keep an eye on it! XD

Author's Response: Oh, thank you. I'm so glad you like Carson. I tried to make her as normal as possible.

The comidic relief was actually something I added in last minute after seeing a similar conversation going on with my godson and my sister. Glad you thought it worked.

And I completely meant to say that Remus was at a booth, not on a cell. I re-read it, and it does seem like he was speaking on a cellphone instead. Must go back and change it. Thanks for pointing it out.

You seriously think he's in canon? Wow, thanks. I wasn't sure how well I was writing him, but thanks.

Don't know if I can say it enough: Thank you.


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