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Review:Jellyman says:
Hi! Georgia here for the Review Exchange at TGS :)

Okay, so I haven't read the prequel for this, but I hoping to enjoy it none the less :) This was a very good start - I'm going to assume the road to getting Marisol and James together was tough, and it's always lovely to see scenes like this where everything is calm and relaxing.

As for the characterisations, I can't really comment on them yet, but they seem to be pretty solid. I think I'll wait a while before I comment on them :)

My one problem with this chapter would be that it went a bit slow. Parts of the dialogue which could have been snappy were broken up by "Harry said, smiling" and "Lily whined" (those were made up) - I think you should consider just leaving them out and letting the reader make up the picture in their minds :) The tone in the dialogue was strong enough for it to stand alone, without direction. It slowed down the chapter in some parts, and I feel this could speed it up a fraction.

Anyway, that was just a suggestion! Overall the chapter was great and I'm looking forward to seeing what the plot will be like :)

Author's Response: That's okay, you don't have to read the prequel for this as they can be read separately since they focus on different couples. And I appreciate the feedback on my dialogue, I'll have to remember that, thanks!

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