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Review:Paloma Patil says:
Favorite line: '"Years of careful observation." James grinned at her charmingly.' My least favorite line came right after this: 'It was a serious statement, covered and amended with a joke.' That one seems extraneous. That's exactly what I got from the quote itself. They say that great writing is about showing, not telling. You've shown us in the first line what's happening in James' heart - you don't need to tell us, too.

The last part of this was great. I think James is realizing that he has to treat her with kid gloves this year.

I'm excited to read on. Well done so far.

Paloma

Author's Response: I do tend to reiterate... a lot. So I thank you very much for you kindly-phrased critque. I have future reference now and that's always a great thing. I'll watch extra hard for those!

I do enjoy my parts with Peter. He is going to be a lot more prominent than most people seem to make him.

I am very happy you want to read on. That's so encouraging.

Thank you dearly for reviewing.


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