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Review:zooeypotter says:
This was quite well written - I couldn't find any grammatical errors and the prose was very smooth.

I thought the narration of falling in love was very sweet, albeit rather slow-paced (that is not necessarily a criticism, I just didn't know if there was to be a major plot for awhile - but I think the end product is lovely). The ending was quite unexpected, though very fluid (I love cliffhangers such as that). I found the character development of Scorpius interesting - how the darkness of his lineage has affected him.

There was only one line I had a bit of trouble with: "Though, I found out later, he had a lot worse to say about it." Which 'he' are you referring to? It's a bit unclear.

Other than that, nicely done! :)

Author's Response: I'm very glad you enjoyed this! It means so much to me to have you take it apart like that. I'm happy that you pointed out its faults and whatnot; it gives me a little insight into how others perceive it. I'll be sure to make that 'he' part clearer right now. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! =)

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