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Review:timeturner says:
Oh, a Rita centric fic...don't see many of these! Your descriptions at the beginning are marvelous. It's interesting that you wrote almost a prologue for this one shot, providing the background and childhood information for her and then breaking completely to start the main part of the story. It was an effective strategy here even though you may lose some readers since there is little action to propel the one shot in the 'prologue' portion.

The back and forth between Lockhart and Rita was priceless. You captured both of their characters and used those traits to play them off of each other. The dialogue was quick, snappy and exactly as you'd expect with those two. So great job there!

It's hard to envision either of these two caring about anyone other than themselves but you've managed to craft a believable relationship between them. I would have liked to have seen a bit more description scattered in to the story to give me a better sense of time and place but the way in which you wrote it, I think, serves the characters personalities well despite this omission. It's a well rounded piece of writing with a fabulous glimpse into two characters we don't see a lot of in fanfic and I applaud you sticking your neck out for the lesser knowns. Good job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed the prologue. I have a tendency to include short snippets in my writing outside of the fanfiction world, but this is the only time I've really done that here.

:) The snappy dialogue was the most fun part to write. I'm a bit sassy, so it flowed well for me, making the characters so much fun to write.

The believability was by far the most difficult part to think of. I mean, they're both so ruthless and greedy! But I loved the idea of a doomed, fated love. I'll keep in mind the suggestion about descriptions. That's one I think I get more often in reviews, so I'll have to remember for future fics. (Or edits!) I honestly enjoy writing about the minor characters far more because I love having that room to play around with them. And, it's a bonus because people looking for a fix in that area have fewer places to go. Thanks!


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