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Review:Canary in the Mine says:
Ello, lovey. Malia from TGS, here for your review.

--I have to say, the idea of this one-shot was so adorable. It was cute and just innocent. I loved it. It was funny and rather good for a first story.

--I completely understand that this is your first, so maybe a few tips? First, have plot. And you did! I mean, sequence of events, cause and effect - all good! Second, weave your characters and dialogue in nicely. It was good in some parts, rocky in others. Sort of think of it all as a natural day occurence ^_^ Just brush up on those skills, and I'm sure you'll get far! Third, begin and end well. A story isn't worth reading if it begins poorly, and ends poorly. I'm glad you seem to understand that! You started it naturally, and ended it that way too! It was just adorable and cute and innocent. Wonderful job!

--Overall, just work on basic skills like grammar and spelling, and just brush up on some of the tips above ^_^ Thank you for requesting! Feel free to come back (:

Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you so much for reviewing my story, I will take the tips and try to improve.

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