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Review:brittish says:
This is a really interesting beginning. I have to say the title drew me in.

The list of names was a bit confusing? I think you may need to explain them a bit more and limit them to the characters that are mentioned in the chapter. I also think the chapter was a little short considering the names and the definitions at the beginning.

You might think of doing the definitions of fate, destiny, and kismet at the beginning of different chapters. Like a new word that ties in for every chapter. That would be a neat idea.

Otherwise, I really enjoyed the story. I was skeptical at first because I usually don't enjoy fanfics that start when the characters are young unless they're really well written and yours are.

Congratulations, I'll be waiting for you're next chapter update!
Ciao,
Brittish

Author's Response: Thanks for the great review! I took your advice and changed the chapter :) And don't worry, they'll only be young in the first two chapters! Read the new one and tell me what you think!

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