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Review:elisalinguine_x says:
Hi it's elisalinguine_x from the forums.

First of all, I loved it! It was beautiful, especially the way you constructed it. It wasn't in sequence as in all the different parts of the story were messed up but it still made complete sense to me. It can be very hard sometimes to write a story the way you did but you excelled at it so well done!

Also I loved how it was from James' POV. You never see many stories from his POV it's always Lily. I liked his way of thinking especialy when he was comparing his age to what he had to go through. Like the fact that he's just a child at heart going through the drama of a full-grown adult.

I didn't fina any mistakes so well done on that too. One thing I can criticize is that in some places it seems to drag on a bit and I found myself nearly skimming through certain paragraphs. Try to concise what you want to say in two-three paragraphs instead of loads, it just makes the flow better and the reader doesn't get bored.

Other than that I really loved it!
Elisa x

Author's Response: Thanks for the quick review! I'm glad the structuring worked out well. And I agree, not many fics are written from James' POV, and when they are, they're usually light fics. I wanted to show the more serious, mature side of his personality.

I will take a look at it and see if I can find the places where it drags -- thanks for bringing that up!

I appreciate your review!


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