Aw, MAN! I had a typed up review and it just got losteded! Oh, no way! It was "Loading..." and it was still loading a few minutes later and then the page crashed and and a..and..a-a-a...and... now it's gone. Wail. Damnit, damnit, damnit. I hate when this site crashes. What did I do wrong in a past life? Why does it have a vendetta gainst me? Whine.
Oh, well. I'll see what I can remember about it lol.
First off, I guess that I want to say - thank you for requesting this for a review! Itís been a long while since Iíve been asked to review good, light-hearted fun. I mean, donít get me wrong. I love all the intense stuff I normally get. But, just, itís nice to sometimes just enjoy a story for what its worth, you know? And this was that story. I just enjoyed reading it. There is nothing else to it. It was warm and inviting and I justÖ it was fun. And I had fun reading it.
Perhaps the strength of this story is Dominiqueís voice. It comes through clearly and I know exactly what time of person she is. Too often, people get caught up in tiny little intricacies with first person. You avoided that. You just told a story. Plain and simple. And that is the type of writing I love to read.
I think this story is carries through heavily with dialogue. And, in any other case, stories where the plot moves through dialogue turn out to be childish. But, for some reason, it doesnít in this. This story is not childish. Iím sort of left scratching my head as to why it isnít. But, eh, what the hell. You did well. Itís not childish. And the dialogue is fine. Donít change any of it.
I donít know what else to say, really! It was just fun. A lot of fun. And I had a smile on my face while reading it and for a while after. Well, until my initial review crashed. But weíll forget about that :D
Author's Response: You had a review and then the page crashed? Haha, that happens to some people but never to me, which is good. There's a saying that the original is always the best but hey, this review from you is nice, anyway. :)
I'm glad you think my story is lighthearted and fun. Well, this is my first story in first person ever (well, there are these journal entry stuff we do at school, but what the heck..) and it's good that you think it was nice.
Thanks for the comment about my story not being childish. I'm happy you had a lot of fun reading this little one-shot and that you had a smile on your face- until the review crashed.
Haha, thanks for reviewing; I really appreciate it! :D