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Review:Pookha says:
For me, the best part of this chapter was the conversation between Yaxley and Travers. It really set up that there's dissension in the ranks of the DEs. I could easily picture that conversation happening exactly as you wrote it. I think you have a good ear for what makes dialogue sound real. Your dialogue never seemed forced or stilted.

James and Aidan have a predilection for action and it's perfectly in character for both of them as Gryffindors. I was glad to see Aidan be a bit more confident in himself in this chapter. I see that James has a bit of Harry's overconfidence as well. He should have sent as many letters as he could to lots of different recipients. This is an important insight into him; he's brave, a bit reckless and not always able to see the long run; a lot like his dad, in other words.

I also really liked the scene with the DEs asking for new recruits that they obviously are planning to use a shock troops or distractions. Again, you have given them very real motivations for what they're doing, even though we don't know exactly why they're there.

Also, again a very well-edited and well-written chapter. It was a joy to read and I would be happy to review more. Feel free to re-request when my review thread opens up again.

Author's Response: Again, sorry this response took so long!

The conversation between the two was originally going to have a much bigger part than it ended up having, but the idea between it was, yeah, that there is going to be some dissension in the ranks. Not everyone is going to like Rodolphus being in charge because he's no Voldemort. James' recklessness can get him into some trouble, and it certainly does in this particular situation. He is a lot like Harry. The main difference is he doesn't have his dad's luck. Again, thank you for reviewing and giving me feedback! I appreciate it! Thanks again!


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