Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Alopex says:
Gotta get this out of my system first: Teddy's actually a bit older than the rest of the bunch; he and Victoire were not in the same year. Still, that worked out well for your story, or else he would have been a little old for Dominique.

I enjoyed Dominique's voice for the most part. A couple of times she did verge on being annoying, but mostly she was distinctive and a bit funny. Perhaps her voice doesn't quite jibe with the shy image you seem to have given her, but I can definitely picture a person with a voice like Dominique's feeling awkward and uncomfortable around someone she has a crush on. I guess everyone feels that way at some point, no matter whether they're shy or outgoing.

At first, I wasn't too crazy about the part where Dominique and Teddy collided. I feel like I've read that scene (with various characters) a million times. And let's face it: how often does that actually happen in real life? I've never seen it. It was a cute scene, though, and you hinted there that Teddy sorta liked her too. In my opinion, what really saved that scene, though, occured later in the story. Teddy and Dominique collided a second time in the library, and Teddy made some comment about it, so that made the first time seem a little less coincidental.

Haha, James and his Quidditch prank. Well, it was funny and not funny at the same time. It does seem like a rather elaborate device just to get Dominique and Teddy together, but it does fit with Dominique's voice. Also, I think these things are easier to get away with in the Next-Gen and Marauders eras. And there's no denying that the result was cute!

Author's Response: I sort of knew that Teddy was older but it fit the story better if he was younger. This is my first time writing in first person point of view and it was fun; Dominique is an interesting character.

The part where they collided was based on personal experience and I know it was quite common yet I still put it there. James was really fun to write; I added the Quidditch prank because it really fit him.

The result was cute? Haha, thanks for reviewing; I really appreciate it!

:D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 904
Submit Report: