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Review:eightfourseven says:
I love reading about the Dursleys, so I'm excited to read this. ^_^ I love how Harry is "the boy" and Dudley gets like, an affectionate nickname. Petunia is VERY in character. I like the concept of the letter and I think it really keeps her in character by saying that she almost burned it, but then opened it. I love her jealousy about James, even though there were things about him that she hated. Vernon is also really in character. You're awesome at characterization! And your grammar is pretty much impeccable. And while you do use "alternate word for said + adverb" more than I usually like, it doesn't bother me as much. In fact, it took me until the second read-through to notice it. I guess that shows that when something is well-written, the little things that usually bother me don't even register in my mind. In this case, the dialogue is so good that I'm like, "Meh, whatever..." to the adverbs. But don't worry; they aren't overused. I just don't like them at all because I'm very particular about dialogue haha. Ahh, that whole thing was just awesome in general. Great job!

Author's Response: You're completely right about the "alternate word + adverb" thing. I like to see little actions that characters do when I read, so when I write, I tend to go overboard. Whenever I read over something I've written, I'm like, dang, I need to cut back. You should've seen the rough draft, haha! I handwrite them all, so I can look back and see. Those "word + adverb" things just slip out, and I'm glad to have a reminder to keep an eye out.

Thank you so much for your comments about Petunia's character, in particular! On one level, this story is about how Petunia is torn between wanting something very badly and wanting very badly to stamp it out. She rejects Lily, but can't bring herself to cut Lily off completely. She cannot live within the wizarding world, but she cannot erase her knowledge of it.

I really wanted to explore what Harry meant to Petunia. He had to be a constant reminder of the wizarding world, Lily, and all that she felt she'd lost or been denied. I thought a letter would play into the regret aspect nicely.

Thanks for this wonderful review, eightfourseven.


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