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Review:Alopex says:
Haha, oops. Misunderstandings like that are so funny to read in stories. Or they are if I'm in the right mood, which I am tonight. Ginny's little joke about Dean was great too. She actually hoodwinked me for a moment! I read that line over again, and I was thinking, o_O no way! Ginny can't be having an affair! Oh no! Then I remembered who her brothers are and who Ginny is, and figured it was probably a joke, which of course was confirmed by reading the next couple of sentences.

To be blunt, I have to say that the "flow" of this story, especially the first half or so, could be better. Obviously, the encounter between Ron, Harry, Dudley, and Lavender had to be awkward, but there's something missing in the description there. The scene lacks emotional depth. I was, however, impressed but not surprised at how civil and even friendly Harry and Dudley were to one another. (Though Dudley's "I have changed; I am a better man" statements didn't impress me much.)

I've read enough of your stories to notice that you often depict Harry at the Ministry. I like that. I think you include nice Ministry- and Auror-appropriate touches. Obviously, working takes up a large portion of the average adult's life, so it's only realistic to write about Harry at work. I think you characterize Harry well, overall, with little mannerisms and actions you give him that make him seem completely human. I also enjoyed in this story and chapter the way he played with his kids.

Author's Response: I've gotten great feedback from the misunderstanding at the start of the chapter, so I think I nailed it pretty good. I was going for a 'Frazier' style misunderstanding for fans of that t.v. show.

I'm so glad that you think I characterize Harry well. Of all the characters, I think I do Harry and Luna the best, having had the most experience with them. I think I do Snape the worst and DD, who I've only written a tiny amount for and destroyed almost immediately.

As an adult with a full-time job; yes work is important. In both this story and 'Bodies at Rest,' Harry's job colours his perceptions of what's happening. Partially because he sees so much recidivism in his job as an Auror, he doesn't trust Dudley's statements.

As a person without kids, I'm glad that you think I do okay with him with his kids. It's important to me not to just gloss over the kids.

You are correct that the 'flow' of this story is off. When I get back to it, I'm going to get a beta, as this is unbetaed. I see lots of places for improvement.


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