Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:HogwartsGirl618 says:
Hey SayaEvange-
I really, truly enjoyed this one-shot. I'm a bit of a Sirius Black addict and this is the first thing I've ever read that highlighted things from Regulus' perspective but kept Sirius in character! Not only was Sirius in character, but his actions were unpredictable- it really fascinated me. I was completely heartbroken when he left a seat open for Regulus; he was still hoping. And then when he forced Regulus to show him his arm! Incredible work.

I loved the narrative you have set up with the flashes interrupting. And the concept that Regulus only lived up to his potential when he died- how macabre! I loved it =). You showed such an original take on the story! I really think you showed a consistent characterization from Regulus' POV - it truly did make complete sense.

One of the other things you did that quite impressed me was make a legitimately introspective character at that age- so many authors write one-shots that are reflections and have ideas marked by way too much maturity for the character they're writing. Yours really, truly fit - it came from exactly who Regulus was as he watched the world give up on him.

I think the one thing you could to make this better would be to add a tiny bit more detail in places to fill out the mental picture a bit more for the reader - you're doing a fantastic job of showing and not telling, but adding a tad bit between the lines of dialogue would be helpful. You did a fantastic job when Regulus was underwater- but I think a bit more when Sirius and Regulus are conversing would be a good addition.

Great work! Lovely piece! And thank you so much for joining Aparecium!

;- ) Sarah

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you! :) I'm really glad that this has gone over so well! The truth is I never spent a lot of time with this piece, so you're comments are wonderful to read! Thank you! :)

I think you're right, there could be more detail. I can never seem to get the right amount of detail in.

Thanks for being so specific! :) I love knowing just what people like and what they think could improve. Thanks again!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 498
Submit Report: