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Review:Alopex says:
A character that you hate . . . um, yeah, I think not many people can like Dolores Umbridge. Good choice, and much more interesting than Voldemort. I did feel like the ending of this story was a little on the abrupt side. However, to describe what the reader knows will happen would surely be repetitive. Maybe it's because I'm used to reading longer things that the ending felt so abrupt. I don't know.

I thought the beginning of this chapter was fantastic. The description was amazing! The way you described the sensation of eating chocolate - and not just eating it, but anticipating it as well - was just incredible. My sister recently lent me a book about a group of people recovering from eating disorders, and there's a chapter in which one of their therapists has them each eat a raisin. They're all supposed to focus on the sensations of the raisin in their mouths and try to allow themselves to enjoy it. The main character really gets into this activity . . . the description of that scene reminded me of the opening paragraph or two of this story. The description was really powerful and almost made me feel it too.

And again you displayed your knack for getting into a character's mind. I thought your description of Dolores' reactions to herself after she ate the chocolates did fit her character, and it felt realistic. (Not to say everyone reacts to eating chocolate that way.)

Well done. I am very impressed by this little drabble! I'm giving 10/10 despite my feeling about the ending. I hardly ever tell what "score" I'm giving, whether it's a good or so-so score (and sometimes I forget to give a score), but I liked this piece so much I wanted you to know. :-)

Author's Response: Umbridge was definitely the first character that leapt to my mind when thinking about a character I disliked. I think I mentioned in my blog how one of the most challenging parts of these challenges was trying to stay under the word count. In the case of this particular drabble we were required to stay under 300 words, which I have since expanded upon so that it would be acceptable for the archives. I guess that's why the ending seemed so abrupt, because when I originally wrote it I was trying to stay under that word count.

I'm glad you liked the description, as a chocolate lover it was fun describing it, and it's great to know that as a reader you were almost able to feel it too.

Thank-you so much for the 10/10, especially considering you felt the ending was abrupt, I'm glad it impressed you so much. Thank-you so much for reviewing. :)


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