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Review:Annachie says:
I really like Jenny. So far it's about the best story idea I've seen for a Harry twin story.

I just wish there was more of it.

This goes for American Adventure as well.

It reads like a summary. Honestly, it's like someone cut out huge bits of the story, like those abridged things that you used to be able to buy.

There are several points where I would swear a chapter had disapeered, lots of tings that could have been expanded beautifully, and a large lack of character growth that could have been shown. Especially with the relationship between Jenny and Draco, and then onto Draco and Harry.

Something else that is missing, or perhaps overlooked, is some of the back story. There are a few elements that should be, well not explained, but briefly covered. Two that come to mind are why the Rangers are at Hogwarts (I know it's in American Adventure but it really should be mentioned in the sequel) and The horse Jessie. Jessie should have been forshadowed somewhere, and for that matter mentioned after he(?) was used as well. (As an idea having Jenny and Draco interact while she cared for Jessie, or teaching Harry to ride. Or Ginny, after all her Patronus is a horse)

One other thing that bothered me was why the Rangers were actually in the story. For most of it they seemd to do little except just be there. Towards the latter stages they could have been anybody. Ok, they played a part in the final showdown, but again there seemed to b little of them actually in it. This is another area that the story can expand in.
What would they have studied anyway, assuming they were studying?

I hope you plan to do a re-write of this as well, after American Adventure, and I'm really curious where the sequal to this will head. Personally, I'd like to see Harry (Well DD and Hermione) working out a way for Jenny to get her magic back, but that's just me.

Well written, and promising. Enjoyable too. (I only stopped reading to feed the kids) Just a bit thin.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like her. Yeah, I've noticed that when I've re-read it lately and I am pretty sure that I am going to be re-writing it once the re-write of American Adventure is complete.

There are a few things for the sequel to it that need to be set up and I do see what you mean about the character development. That and I know my writing has inproved since I've completed that story. Though it will not be completly overhauled as American Adventure, it will be worked on and expanded a bit.

And I'm glad that you are curious about the sequel to it. I'm looking forward to writing it. Though unfortunatly, Jenny will not be getting her magic back in the sequel. The most she will be able to do is lumos.

I think this is the longest review that anyone has ever left me and I am so glad that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reviewing!


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