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Review:AntigoneBlack says:
I liked that you added a Longbottom child, because JKR didn't put any on that lovely tree for us. This story has really good potential. Seeing as this is only the prologue and stands with less than 1000 words, it leaves a lot of room for you to grow this story.

A couple thing that I noticed. James's prank was a little too childish for a teenager at 16. My brother is 16, and let me tell you, when he pranks, I'm in trouble. I am not trying to be mean, but if you are going to continue pranks with this character think a little bigger and use framing to get someone else in trouble.

Also some of the sentence structure was a little odd. The one that really stands out is the last sentence. "I said my good-byes and then with my Dad I went home." I think it would look and flow better if it was changed to: "I said my goodbyes, and then my dad and I headed home." Something of that nature.

It's a good plot idea, and you have some great characters starting, so I say Good-Luck!

Author's Response: I know! She didn't mention a Longbottom child at all!!Thanks!! I hope I can develop a good story out of this!

I was afraid of that! I am no genius when it comes to pranks! And my brother is way too old to play pranks on me! I'll just ask my friends what they would do!

Ok! My grammar's not that great! I'll edit in where it seems odd!

Thanks for the review!!


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