Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
Haha, that ending! XD Kate is definitely on the silly side. I'd say she was pretty insane, too. But that makes her endearing! She has this way of thinking about everything that is incredibly honest and open, which fits her character. I can't remember too much about her from the books, but it seems right that a Gryffindor Quidditch player would end up sounding like your Kate does.

One thing to watch for is that you don't overdo her quirky style. While the ending was perfect, as were some other lines, at times I found her a little too overwhelming. It was lines like "Well, that was what I was best at, was it not!" and "Hurrah! Eureka! Kate shall never be defeated!" that produced a less-than-positive effect. Perhaps it's all the exclamation points (which reminds me of that topic on the forums) or it's that her voice sounds forced, taking away from the overall humorous tone.

I was also confused as to why Kate thought Mads was a lobbyist? I probably missed something in my half-asleep state, but it stood out as a point of "why that?" It could be that Kate is prejudiced against everyone at the reserve, which seems to be the case - she's bitter about not becoming a Quidditch player, about being sent into the cold, and she doesn't appear to be having any luck getting along with her co-workers! Not a good start for Kate, but it definitely adds to the humour.

The premise of this story is wonderfully original. Kate and Charlie, who'd have thought it? And your Charlie is quite a dragon himself, which I find funny. Perhaps he's better when he's not forcibly woken up. :P There's great potential in this story to become a hilarious romantic comedy, which while I know it isn't your usual thing, I know you can pull off with incredible success.

There were other points I wanted to make and favourite lines I wanted to pick out, but now when I go back, I can't find them again, so I'll leave that out for now. This is a good start to your story, and I want to continue reading, which is a very good sign. ;) As always, you've come up with something original and I'm eager to see where you'll take it next. :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 290
Submit Report: