Hi! Georgia from TGS here with your review! I'm so sorry for the delay, I've just been super super busy with exams that just don't seem to be ending :(
Okay, so this was amazing. I have to be honest here and say I'm in no way a Sirius/Lily fan, so I was strangely hurt, lol, when I learned of their affair. However, it was truely beautiful and I really enjoyed reading it, despite the ship. I really have to give you points for your narrative, it was amazing! Though Sirius was confused, I actually felt his words were mesmerizing and almost convincing in a strange sort of way. It was weird and it's hard to explain, but it was so effective, it was just wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed this! If not for your request, I would have skipped over it because of the ship - so thank you :)
The messy style is just brilliant. It really gives his thoughts that extra punch, highlighting his confusion and agitation. The imagery, coupled with that style, that this creates is just superb :) The way he "floats" to the bench and the scenery you described were really quite poetic and just created a some wonderful imagery.
The bench was hard, but that was typical of their kind.
I loved this line. It broke up the melancholy of the story just slightly, adding a great touch of humor. Brilliant.
Overall, this was amazing. The dialogue was fantastic, the story just flowed so well and the issues discussed - death, the afterlife, etc. - were just amazing. The way you presented the afterlife, actually, was amazing. Really, I have no critique. The way you described Sirius, wow, you had such a grasp on his character. It was a flawless presentation. And Lily, too, was amazing. Very mysterious...I felt she was kind of distant, too, for most of the fic, which was a great touch. Sirius wasn't truly connecting with her, so you didn't let the reader connect with her either. Great work.
However, the story still leaves us with questions, which is good too. It sort of alludes to the fact that this is Sirius' new beginning, not an end. I do have one question though, which is bugging me; did Lily ever love James? I would like your opinion...I'm not 100% sure she did, though I like to think so...
Anyway. Brilliant story, I'm sorry I couldn't give you any critique (haha, Susan, critique? Laughable! XD). I thoroughly enjoyed it, please feel free to drop by my thread with another request! Again, I'm really sorry for the delay with this review!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for coming to review this, Georgia! I'm sorry for the confusion about which story to review - I appreciate that you were able to review this one instead. :D
Making their relationship into an affair is probably me rebelling against the confines of this ship. :P It's a ship I'm not entirely convinced could or did happen, but at the same time, there's something alluring about reading and writing it. Now that I've thought about it, I'm not sure why I included an affair - probably to heighten Sirius's pain and indecision. He questions her loyalty to him because she was disloyal to James - is she trustworthy at all?
I'm relieved and glad that the style worked out. It was very strange to write - very fragmented and contradictory, with nothing entirely clear. It could have gone very wrong, making the story unreadable, so it's wonderful to hear that it puts the reader in Sirius's shoes (mesmerized is a bonus :P I'm having a mental image of hypnotized readers now). The story has a ghostly feel to it, which suits the title and the situation Sirius is in. :D
No critique? Wow, that's just awesome, thank you! About Lily, I have the hugest issues writing her, which is why she seems to so distant. In the books she feels very distant too, talked about often, but we rarely ever see who she really is. The letter Snape stole in DH is the only time she really has a voice - so I always end up writing her from afar, never getting close enough to understand her properly. At least that suits the story well - Sirius feels the same way about her. XD
Thank you again for the review! I'd be happy to request from you again - this was incredibly thorough, and you've made me think about the story again (which I love doing, strangely enough). This story is an experiment that I might end up trying again. ;)