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Review:siriusgirl1 says:
This seems a little overdramatic to me. The constantly changing points of view are hard to keep track of, as well. They are helpfully labeled, but it's hard to really get to know a character (even if we are familiar with the canon already) when they only get a few sentences each. I'd suggest switching to third person omniscient for a story where you want input from so many characters.

I think you have a good start here and in chapter one, but it does need some editing.

Siriusgirl1

Author's Response: Thank you for your input I am glad to hear things that I need fixed. I will definitely try to work on it.

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