This. Was. Unbelievable.
I loved it!
I mean WOW. Words cannot express how much this resonates with me. Your words were so powerful. I think anyone who doesn't feel anything when they read this, has a hairy heart. I mean, the way you wrote it was like BAM! You cut open Snape and I could feel and relate to him wholly and completely, the words were so poignant. I also felt as if the way this was written was like a 500 word poem, it flowed so effortlessly. This is a perfect example of great things coming in itsy bitsy packages.
May I ask why did you decide to write this pairing? Snape and Lily, as tragic as it was, was so romantic. His unrequited love for her is like something out of a Bronte novel, or like Colonel Brandon in "Sense and Sensibility" (except Snape doesn't fall in love again.)
But yeah. I also love the WAY you wrote this piece. I will never forget when my teacher for Honours English corrected my essay for this book we had to read, "Anthem" by Ayn Rand. He said that using the present tense and creating stronger verbs (like "walks" instead of "is walking") is the most powerful way to write. And "Blindness" showed it. I think if it was written in any other way, it would lose some of its oomf!.
I loved how the only physical description that stands out for Lily are her eyes, which probably was intentional, right? Also, the way Snape's hair stood out for him. Like the hair was a symbol for a mask or even blindness.
The thing that caught my attention as well was how Lily's name is repeated several times throughout the fic, even Sirius and James are mentioned. Not Snape though. It was like it was another symbol of how Snape has no identity with Lily, or importance should I say and that Lily, James, and Sirius all stand out in Snape's life. Oh, I hope that made sense! It's the English nerd in me. If it does, were you thinking about that as you were writing this?
My favorite quote in this would probably be "He is beside her, the always friend. Through thick and thin. Nothing can ever come between them." That line was just so poetic. I loved how you played with the words to sort of make it like that. I also greatly enjoyed the light/darkness analogies - it goes to show how much Lily meant to him.
I guess that's it! I've already nominated in Best Oneshot but I definitely think I'll nominate this for Best Marauders or some other open category. This wholeheartedly deserves it. You are an AMAZING author Susan!
I'm giving this an honest 10/10. And of course, this went immediately into my favorites. Great stuff!
Author's Response: You know what you were saying on the forums about reviews you didn't know how to reply to? Well, you made one right here. It's longer than the story itself (which amuses me to no end, sorry). It's really awesome that you liked this story so much, and I appreciate you taking the time to write this review. As I told you, it did make my day and now I'm failing to come up with a decent response.
Snape and Colonel Brandon are surprisingly similar, wow. I never noticed that until now. Haha, I wonder if JKR did that on purpose, knowing that Rickman had played both. It's a long-shot, but I like that connection in regard to this ship. Snape doesn't find that other person, and because of that, he's wholly and obsessively loyal to Lily's memory. It helps that Lily is without flaw, though she does leave him for someone else, like Eliza. But I'm getting too deep into that connection and it's distracting me from your review.
Changing to the present tense only happened because I needed to decrease the word count by a bit. The present tense ended up making the story better stylistically, a little smoother in flow and more immediate in nature. Like you said, it didn't have enough of an impact in the past tense. Strange how the need for fewer words can change everything!
Lily's eyes are a huge deal in the series, as they're the same as Harry's, but that last scene with Snape has really stuck with me since first reading it. It's haunting how desperately he wanted to look into Lily's eyes that one last time. Then there's the way that Lily treated Snape (it bothered me how easily she dropped him, among other things), and it seemed right that being ignored for him was similar to a sort of blindness on her part. So that's why sight and a lack of sight became such a significant image, and I'm glad it came through as such a persistent image. It's all about perception (something I often write about, strangely enough).
Snape having no identity without Lily, now that's a very interesting idea. It works, especially with "The Prince's Tale" chapter, Snape being unable to let her memory go, even once she'd cast him aside. In this story he only mentions James and Sirius in relation to Lily; they're watching her and Snape's watching all three of them. He might not have ended up having such a rivalry with James if not for Lily, so you're totally right. I didn't think of it that way, but Snape does relate everything to her, both in this story and later in DH. It's amazing how deeply in love with her he must have been to lose himself in her memory.
Wow, thank you so much for this, Kristen! You've not only written this amazing review and made me think about the story in entirely different ways from when I wrote it, but you nominated it too! I can't describe how much I appreciate it. ^_^