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Review:Jemione says:
Hi! So I now have an Internet connection and I thought I'd check out your story :)

First of all: you have some mis-spellings in all the chapter summaries, fixing them would give a nicer impression of the story to a new reader.
haveing - having
certen - certain
servive - survive

I liked the "the-boy-who-wouldn't-and-will-never-die" joke. There are obviously lots of versions of "the boy who lived", but this one's original. I also like it that the meaning of the story's title is easy to understand. I'm looking forward to hearing about the different occasions that Hermione looks into Draco's eyes and feels like falling.

The best advice I can give you right now is to get a beta reader. There are quite a lot of spelling mistakes and sentences you could change a bit to make them flow better. For instance, in the very first sentence I would change "I fell" to "falling". That might make a big difference if a reader makes the decision about reading based on the first line.

I'd advice you to switch from "O.K." to "okay". Also, you should hit enter when the speaker changes - you have Hermione & Goyle both speaking in the same paragraph, and later Hermione & Luna.

The new compartment rule seems a little forced to me, like the only reason for it was to get Draco and Hermione in the same two-person compartment. I would leave the second sentence out and show the rule instead - maybe have someone tell Hermione that the compartment won't let the people to be changed. The rule could be for safety reasons or something like that. I think you should give some kind of an explanation.

Other than that... I think it's quite nice for a 14-year-old. I will be keeping an eye on possible clishes, though. :)

Author's Response: wow, this was really nice to hear. i'm glad that you are keeping an eye out! i have re-read some of them and fixed mistakes, but i never realized some of these, and the rule will be explained in the 4th chapter. i'm writing it right now. and i'm a horrible speller. i have a good understanding on words, i just never can spell...

thanks for the great review!
JR Nite Dragon

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