This is going to be a long one so bear with me. Firstly, have you finally been converted? Seen the light? I'm so happy to see you with more Sirius/Lily on your page. Good ones are so rare to find and I'm glad you've taken up the torch to write them. Okay, onto the review.
Desriptions as usual are great. I could not say it but that wouldn't be fair to you :P The opening scene is fabulous. You've woven together his confused emotions wonderfully...the things he knows (and doesn't) the things he remembers (and doesn't).
This is a little thing, I know, but if you are like me you've been reading your reviews waiting on someone to mention it so I guess I'll give it a go. There are a hundred things you could have had Sirius focus on when he "awoke" but the ones you've chosen are very specific to his character. That he would initially hide from the morning light, preferring instead darkness; that he looks for other things (insects, animals, people) to subtantiate the world around him because Sirius is never enough...he's a passive inhabitant to the world rather than in it and it was interesting to see that portrayed with the simple comment "he didn't think that counted for much."
I had a little confusion with his internal monologue but that was fine because it meant I was just as confused as he was. When his thoughts bounced around, I bounced around with him which, of course, is a great thing for a writer to accomplish.
I didn't like that he didn't know her right away. It was well-wrriten there, don't get me wrong, I'm just a sappy romantic and want their love to span through death and all that nonsense. It was heartbreaking to me (perhaps not to a non Sirius/Lily shipper) that he didn't which, I suppose, could have been your intention. If you meant to make me sad, well, then I'm mad at you :P
And then...THEN...you went where I've never gone. Kudos to you, girlfriend! I don't want to give it away in case some reads the reviews before reading the story but GAH! She was pregnant with Harry???
Okay, I'm going to disagree with the characterization here just because I don't want to believe that about Sirius. I just can't bring myself to believe that about him but you do pull it off in a believable way and I'm sure many, many readers will be happy about that turn of events.
I know the site is going to cut me off (if it hasn't already) so I should close this up. It was wonderful as I expected with enough twists to add your own unique mysterious style to it. Fabulous story!
Author's Response: Thank you for doing this, timeturner! It was a great surprise to see you offering reviews, so I couldn't resist, not when there was a Sirius/Lily story involved. :P But no, I haven't been entirely converted yet. I'm just addicted to writing this ship for some unknown reason (perhaps an unconscious conversion, then?). Sirius is an amazing character, while Lily is very elusive, which makes them intriguing to write together. :D
Anyway, the internal monologue was supposed to be a bit confusing, like you said, though it might also be because of the fragmented style - all the choppy sentences, etc. It seemed to work with a post-death Sirius, and I'm glad that it didn't alienate you from the story at all. That was a big worry.
You know, I actually didn't think much about what Sirius noticed when he first "awoke" from death. It's fascinating that it turned out to suit him, and it makes perfect sense that he needs something else there with him. Even at Hogwarts, it was always James and Sirius as a team, never each alone. Perhaps it's something to do with being a Black, needing a "family" around him, even once his own family has disowned him. Wow, this goes to show how well you know Sirius. :P
It makes sense that, if she was so important to him, that he would remember her. Perhaps he didn't want to remember James because of his guilt, but it was really Lily he was living for (which makes him sound like canon Snape, arg). So he should have known her. Yet it's part of the mystery for him, trying to figure out who she is - he already knows that she means something, everything to him, but it takes him a while to consciously remember her name. It is supposed to be a sad story (even with the almost-happy ending), so you can be mad. ;)
You haven't written about them cheating, that's true. I had to think about that a bit, but yes, what I did here takes the ship a step toward doom. It definitely is a dangerous place to go, as neither of them are the cheating sort, both loyal to James in their own way. I did it with another Sirily too, so I don't know. Perhaps it's just my rebellion against the ship. :P
Thank you again for doing this review, timeturner. It means so much to hear your thoughts on this story, the characters, and ship. It's fantastic that you enjoyed the story, too! ^_^