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Review:Jane_Volturi says:
Wow, this was very different to what i normally read, usually i wouldn't touch a Percy fanfiction but your choice of chapter title just grasped my attention straight away. It was the perfect description of Percy's situation. Anyway, i'll get to th review now.
Characterization:
Percy: Very in character, you showed another side to him, you showed the struggle inside his head, the difficulty of swallowing his pride or remaining too pompous. and you made it realistic, i could really beleive this was coming from Percy's point of view. I even felt sorry for him.
Aberforth: Definitley in character, especially the line where he snapped at Percy 'are you a Weasley or not?' that part was gold. Good job with him.
Plot: This plot woves so well into the book, it was like a missing part if you get what i mean, very intriguing and very well written.
Flow: This flowed really well, nothing stuck out as odd or out of topic. It was all brilliantly composed and i loved it.
Grammar: This was really good as well, there were times when you jumbled your word classes up but i think you got away with those hiccups just about :)
Spelling: That seemed perfect, at least i disn't stumble across anything.
Punctuation: Perfect, this was spot on.
Descriptive Language: This was spot on as well, your description weren't too heavy, but there was enough detail in there to ensure i had a crystal clear image in my head. I could really reale to Percy and i could understand his thoughts and emotions without any difficulty.
Overall, a very unusual yet original idea for a first chapter. Brilliantly done, a definite 10/10
Katie

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