Okay, I'm going to review this piece by piece. After every section I'll just scroll down and write my thoughts. Well, the first one...Oh...My...God. It's really not often that I get teaar-eyed when reading fanfiction, but this was so overwhelming and heartwrenching I just felt my heart crack a little. Just when I imagined (and through your writing I could do that very well) the horror of the situation, the dread John was feeling as the moon approached, my blood almost ran cold. You so perfectly captured the terror of waiting and knowing something horrible's about to happen. Just picturing little Remus locked up in the shed, experiencing the unimaginable agony for the first time...as a LITTLE BOY! I'm at a loss for words, I really am. It was so powerfully written and just so, so horrifying.
Onto the second part. It was well-written and nice, once again describing the friendship of the four of them, but it concentrated on the whole werewolf element with which Remus had to deal with. It was not as powerful asthe first one, but that's not a bad thing. This one really had the air of Remus being used to it despite the pain he's experiencing and shame he thinks he's obligated to feel. The little descriptions of James, Sirius and Peter felt a bit unnecessary, since the overall effect of the piece seemed a bit choppy to me. It kept travelling back and forth between Remus's anguish over being werewolf, to pitying Peter for his animagi form, to describing Sirius's broodines. They're little details that make absolutely no harm when you add them, and personally I didn't mind it that much, I just thought it would feel cleaner, more forward and snappy if it focused only on the werewolf element because the rest of it is something we already know and hear all the time. The strongest point, was the last line, coming back to John Lupin, who sat wide awake miles away. Once again I felt that heartbreak and dread crawl up my spine.
Oh Bibbs! Oh my...what do I say? WHAT DO I SAY? The last part was.BEAUTIFUL. That's what it is, it's simply and absolutely beautiful. I loved everything about it, every little thing. The way Teddy stayed up every Full Moon to pay a tribute to his father. I can so imagine him staying awake even if he had something important going on the next day. Because if his father HAD TO, regardless of events going on the following day, Teddy perhaps felt he should, too. Then the fact that Harry gave the Map to Teddy. You're a genius for that and SO RIGHT! I think it really belongs more to him than Albus or James. You said it perfectly, "You're the last child of the Marauders," or something along those lines. And then the little detail about his hair turning sandy brown on their own accord during the Full Moon, that's just the most gorgeous thing one could ever come up with in this case. I also liked how the blaming it on the moon played out in the end.
This one-shot is fantastic. I can't decide which part was my favorite, whether the first or the last one. Every section is so greatly written and I like how the mood of each one is different. I really gives this story a versatile edge. The first one is so full of fear, darkness and hopelessnes. The other is calm, but depressing, sad, but strong at the same time, because Remus is not alone in his curse and is strong enough to deal and fight with it. And then the last one...it's gentle and soothing and so tender with Teddy and his love and respect for the father he never knew, the father he'd like to meet for at least one time.
Absolutely amazing, this is, really! I loved it!
Author's Response: WOW! This is one of the most beautiful reviews I have ever seen. I can't believe it, for this story was written very late at night, in the space of about an hour. It hasn't been checked over or reread at all; I wrote it and posted it and hoped for the best.
I'm so very happy John Lupin's situation evoked such emotion in you, and that you could understand all that he was feeling. I could never imagine a five year old screaming in relentless pain and having no way to fight against it. I couldn't imagine trying to go to bed that night knowing it was going on, and probably hearing it. So I figured he must have just sat up and cried. I think a lot of people overlook what a serious thing that would be for a young child; it's so easy to see Remus as a Marauder, or a member of the Order, or as a father now. I think people forget he was ever so young. Horrifying is probably one of the most fanastic words; I don't think I could deal with it if I were John.
I agree with you that Remus seems used to it now. He's sort of just resigned to it happening. I think he almost feels guilty about it, as if it is his fault. His father blames himself for ruining Remus's life, and Remus blames himself for ruining his parents. I think he's a little wistful every month, knowing his dad is sitting up and worrying about him.
I think there is a good possibility that you are right about the description of the other Marauders being unnecessary. As I said, I wrote it all in a blur and posted. I could totally see it going back and forth as you said. I don't know that I will remove their bits, for I like including small parts of what they've done for him and how they worry for him too - but I think I will go back through and see if I might be able to make it run smoother and not so choppy. I'll give it a few days, though, I don't know if I can look at it again so soon! Thank you for pointing it out; I'll always be happy to accept advice on how to better something.
I'm so glad you liked the last part! I have never, ever written a single word of next generation before. This was a total experiment for me to include Teddy, and I really enjoyed it. I think, if I ever write a next gen fic, it will be about Teddy rather than Albus or Rose or any of the "kids". I've really grown quite fond of him while I wrote his short little part in this.
I'm so pleased you can understand Teddy's need to stay awake during the full moons, the fact that the desire to sleep on these nights is completely nonexistent. You noticed his hair! I was hoping somebody would. I was thinking of how Tonks' appearance changed to being all "mousy" and plain whenever Harry saw her in HBP (I always thought her appearance was changing to resemble Remus). And so I had Teddy's appearance do the same, although he never intends it. I'm glad you understand it.
I'm also glad you picked up on the different moods! Thank you so much for this absolutely beautiful review.