Hello! This is Kristen here with your long awaited review! Look, I'm truly and really sorry about making you wait so long - my real life just got really busy, and with the Riddle Finale...my reviewing just got put on the backburner. I'm also really sorry if this isn't as long as I'm sure some of your others are :).
First, I got to say this was a very interesting and original concept. The Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies and children's books of all time (although, I still read them today as someone going on 17 xD), I love Wicked (the musical) so much (the book, I got to say, made feel like I was on some drug and I just think that the musical was better overall), and let's face it - Shrek is the best post-Disney Princess Disney film ever. So kudos to you writing this! What made you (guys) decide to write this?
Now, you say that people found it confusing. I can see why, but as you said Ingram is actually a nutter, I quite like how you have it set up. A crazy person's mind is off its hinges, and so they think very off-the-wall random like. It made this fic seem very psychological somehow like an analysis of the mind, which added maturity to it.
But there were a few things that did throw me off the unbeaten path. Like the last line of this chapter. Why would Hermione want to snog Draco, a boy who makes sport of calling her mudblood? And I took this as Ingram hallucinating, but why was Ron wearing that costume? I also don't think Romilda ever knew of Ron's...mishap. Where did Cupid come from?
Is Ingram really a crazy Draco or did they switch places? I would like to know that very much :). If it's the latter, perhaps to decrease the confusion you could show a scene where Draco gets transported back to Kansas?
It was really random sometimes, but I think that made it more fun to read. I'm sure it must be a blast to write this! In the previous chapter you mention how Ingram was singing like Donkey...it didn't really sit right with me; the way it was executed, not the line itself. I'm a big fan of the first Shrek movie, so I got the line from its tone, as I'm sure anyone who saw that movie and reads this will. But there may be people who do read this and have never seen the movie and would be confused by the reference. It would be like if I wrote something like:
Romilda laughed as Ron and Harry grappled for her affection. "Oh you boys, fightin' over me and all, makes a girl feel-" she crooned like Drusilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer but her sentence was cut off by a rogue punch landed against her lips.
See what I mean? If you're a fan of the show you'd get it, and maybe laugh at the reference without me having to say it was Drusilla's line. If you haven't seen it, then you're probably confused by the reference, right? So in my opinion, that line would improve if perhaps instead of saying "like Donkey in Shrek", your tag to that bit of dialogue would be something like "like a braying donkey." That's it for the nit pick, I'm sorry :(.
I loved the randomness don't get me wrong, but I think what confuses people is the really really out there random ones that are just there like the quip about how the Baron told the kids of future generations about the boy who walked like a duck. The Baron hardly ever talks, if I'm not mistaken, except to reprimand Peeves because he's so scary and intimidating.
I thought that this fic was very funny though, I laughed at many parts like when Sir Cadogan chanted "Duel! Duel!" My mental image of it made me crack up xD Or how Ingram was a secret passageway aficionado. And a part of it is due to the randomness of the entire fic; just make sure things don't go too random. I hope that makes sense and is not in any way an contradictory oxymoron!
I loved how you tied in Oz with Hogwarts. Like how you had the scene with Trelawney on the broomstick and Ingram thought it was Elphaba or how he thought Draco's rooms were the Emerald City. All these things made me laugh.
Your style of writing is really cool too! I really enjoy how the narration is like a voice in Ingram's life. It makes the story have an "Into the Woods" feel to it. And I love how its satirical! What made you guys decide to write the fic this way?
Well that's it :D I think you did a very good job with this fic over all, you guys should be very proud of yourselves to work on such an original concept! =D
Author's Response: wow, thank you so much. It really wasn't supposed to be that deep, it was set up more as a sketch in the style of Monty Python or something (not that we could ever aspire to be that funny). It's really cool that you thought we were doing a psychological analysis (I feel so insightful about the human condition now, completely undeservedly :D). And everyone was supposed to be a bit out of character, just for kicks. (The dramione bit was parody, which we will go into further in the next chapter). Ingram is actually Draco's long-lost muggle cousin from Kansas. Draco will show up later. I'm glad that you thought the randomness worked as part of Ingram's craziness, because that was what it was supposed to be - I think a lot of people didn't get that it was just supposed to be random for fun. Ron was in an ostrich suit for just that reason :D (again, a bit of OOC and parody for kicks). As far as the Donkey reference goes, I think it's kind of one of those things that people will either get or not, sort of like the Alexander Hamilton/Aaron Burr reference. I'm so glad you liked our fic and thought it was original; I'm even happier you thought it was funny! Thanks for the pointers on what was confusing, it will help us clarify some things in the next chapter. Thanks so much for the review! (and don't worry about how long it took, I've been known to be even worse :D)