Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:dramione4ev says:
This was amazing! Though I have to say one line kinda struck out as funny to me.
"I don’t know what the hell your MASTER wants with me, but YOU,” she pointed her wand in Dolohov’s face, “definitely HURT me.”

The part where you put an emphasis on "YOU" make me laugh a little. I think I must be weird or something because this is supposed to be a pretty serious chapter.

And while I'm at it, I suppose I'll review for chapter 22 too {since I'm lazy and want to combine these two reviews} :) Again, one line really stood out at me. I don't know why, but it was just the way Remus talked. There was a hint of sadness and rememberance, and you can just imagine him taking in his breath quickly, becuase of shock and other reason {yep, I'm rambling}

The sight of it almost took Lupin’s breath away. “I have not seen that face in a very long time,” he admitted slowly.

I just love that line, and I've read about a total of 50 times ;) It fits so well there and makes everything just perfect. It kinda brings you back to the Maurader's reality and the danger-brilliant!

Anyway, on about other stuff than requoting your brilliance (I may or may not get repetetive, be warned) You really did the whole scene perfectly. It wasn't just that one line {though I'm still in love with it}, it's the whole chapter. How you portrayed Harry's reactions and such when finding out about his mother's best friend. The details and everything.

Moving on to grammar and spelling. Though I'm not a grammar expert and should DEFINITELY be the last person you'd want to edit your piece, I saw no mistakes. To tell the truth, I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. I guess it's another way I'm weird. If I see a mistake, it will bug me for the whole chapter, no matter how good the writer is. But, I'm glad to say you are doing wonderful on that. Do you happen to have a beta perchance?

Also, more about this chapter {I feel bad, I was going to do a long review on this chapter, but I read what happened in the next chapter, and then got into that long rant about that starting sentence of Lupin's}

I loved every word of it. From the death of her boyfriend, to her own death. It was great, and the part where she conquered the seven death eaters was a fun part to read! AND, a reference from the next chapter, where Remus says that the most powerful death couldn't have killed Rhian, he was right :D And I'm glad to say so, at least Rhian was important enough that Voldermort wanted her and killed her personally.

So, I suppose I should wrap this review up. If you ever get to reading this-I feel sorry for you! Probably the longest review I've ever written, and I'm sure you'll agree most of it is just annoying blabbering for me. 10/10
~Kelly~

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

 
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

 
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


 
 
 

fanfictionworld.net