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Review:HarryPotter is my LIFE says:
This was certainly a good start to a story. :) However, there are a few things.

There were typos throughout the chapters, and a few sentences that didn't make sense. If you haven't already, consider going over to the forums and finding a beta to look over your chapters for you. :)

Also, sometimes it's nice to start out a story with a less informative chapter. It's sometimes off-putting to the reader when the first chapter is full of doom-and-gloom. In otherwords, you want the reader to know the character before asking the reader to sympathize with the character.

But, like I said, this is only a first chapter, and it was definitely better than the first chapters I wrote when I was 13. :D I hope to see you continue with this story!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. And as I read throughout the chapter I see that me writing in a tired state of mind isn't the best idea. That, and that I should really use spell check!
whyus


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