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Review:Jane_Volturi says:
Well, your writing style seems very simple to start with, it's not neccesarily bad but it could be greatly improved, you have a weak use of descriptive language but your dialogue seems to be ok. Grammar seems fine, punctuation was nearly perfect, you just need to work on editing your use of commas in this chapter, there are many that have been misplaced. The storyline however hasd a fault. In the books Albuys Dumbeledore makes it quite clear to Harry that Voldemort found out about the prophecy after Harry was born, the prophecy was also made after Harry was born, so Lily wouldn't have been expecting a baby during the time she and James were hiding in Godric's Hollow, she'd have already had it.
Just thought i'd let you know about.
8/10

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