Hm. Very interesting chapter indeed. I am quite puzzled by Mr. Emile Cadogan so far. At the moment, due to Helen's suspicions, I am also leaning toward thinking he is a wizard, or at the very least a Muggle who knows about the Wizarding World. He's most likely a wizard, though. And he just might know more about the tomb than he lets on. I can't decide if he is good news or bad news. I really enjoyed your description of him, though, how tall and awkward-looking he is. However, his mannerisms are nowhere near as awkward as his appearance. Interesting. I am particularly intrigued as to how he found out about Helen. My first idea was that Moody had let slip that he knew someone who could do with a job, but that impression seems incorrect.
Helen was, as usual, delightful. She is a strong female character, yet she is completely human (or I suppose I should say she's not a "Mary Sue"). And for once, it's nice to see a story with a fantastic female protagonist that doesn't revolve around romance. There's the potential for it to develop, but it doesn't seem likely to be central to the story. I really have to laugh at Helen sometimes . . . she reminds me a bit of Tonks! She certainly gets into some interesting predicaments, and that interaction with the Muggle girl was so funny. And naturally, Moody had to make an appearance. That man is everywhere! It would be supremely irritating if it wasn't so amusing.
You mentioned that since you are re-writing this story, you were worried that there might be some rough patches or discontinuity with flow or plot, but I have not noticed that. On the contrary, you seem to be very much in control of your story. Your descriptions are fantastic, and I feel that I am just being swept along the Nile as events keep rushing past (I mean that in a good way - that your story isn't dawdling along but you are also developing scenes adequately).
Author's Response: He is a puzzling character (to be honest, I'm still working out his role in the plot), and it doesn't help that Helen is more than a little suspicious of everyone around her. She seems to see spooks at every turn, whether they're there or not. Though it's funny that his description is enjoyable because I based it off of someone I know, so I have a real life image to work from. ;)
Romance is definitely not the centre of this plot. Some may arise later on, but it's still up in the air. I don't want it to get in the way of the mystery/adventure surrounding the tomb. It's refreshing to write something that's not a romance. Helen like Tonks... yes, that would fit (I wrote this chapter while writing my last Tonks story - guess I can't keep all the stories completely separate). Helen does get herself into hilarious predicaments, though, and those moments are a joy to write. And Moody just has to pop up when she's trying to avoid him. She's probably so obvious in her dislike that he might be getting suspicious of her.
Thank you very much for your reviews. It's really fantastic to know that the story is coming along well, both plot-wise and character-wise. I didn't want to go further into the plot if something was going the wrong way. I've loved reading and responding to these reviews, and will definitely ask for more when I update. :)