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Review:HarryPotter is my LIFE says:
It's a good start. But also just a tad rushed.

However, there were quite a few grammatical mistakes, especially when it concerned dialogue. I would consider getting a beta-reader to take a look at your chapters before you submit them.

Also, be careful of conflictions. At first, you say that the girl has caramel-blonde hair, and then you say that she is "the dark haired girl."

Although there were errors, it was still an entertaining chapter. And it could definitely develop into a good story! :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much 4 reading!:) basilisk14 and hannah banana are both my bffs so u r my first real review :) p.s anastasia reminds me of me :):):):):):):) i should be updating soon so please look, and i'll go and edit thans again
-ginnyfangrl p.s i'm a retard and addicted 2 my computer

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